How to Talk to a Loved One About Needing Care

Homelium
Aug 1
3 min read

A woman in a navy uniform smiles gently at an elderly person in a bright room with red floral art. Calm, compassionate atmosphere.

A guide for families starting the conversation with empathy, not pressure

Starting a conversation about care with a parent or loved one can feel daunting.

You may have noticed some changes missed medication, increased forgetfulness, or just a sense that they’re struggling more at home but you’re unsure how to bring it up without upsetting them.

At Homelium, we’ve supported hundreds of families through this exact moment. And we’ve learned that with the right approach, these coversations can actually bring families closer together not drive them apart.

Here’s how to talk to your loved one about care in a way that’s gentle, respectful, and focused on their independence.

💬 1. Start Early—Before It’s a Crisis

One of the biggest mistakes families make is waiting too long to talk. By then, emotions are high, and decisions may have to be made quickly.

If you’ve already read our blog “10 Signs Your Loved One May Need Care,” and recognised a few of them—it’s time to start talking. Think of this as a conversation, not a confrontation.

🧠 2. Understand Their Fears

Before you say anything, ask yourself:

What might they be afraid of losing?
How do they feel about “getting older”?
What words might make them feel judged or dismissed?

For many, the word “care” triggers thoughts of losing control, being forced into a care home, or becoming a burden. Reassure them that you’re looking at support—not taking over.

❤️ 3. Use “I” Statements, Not “You” Statements

This is one of the simplest but most effective tips:

❌ “You can’t manage on your own anymore.”✅ “I’ve been worried lately and want to make sure you’re OK.”

When you speak from your perspective, it feels less like an accusation—and more like concern from someone who loves them.

👂 4. Listen More Than You Speak

Ask open questions and really listen to what they say.

“How have you been feeling day to day?”
“What’s been hardest for you recently?”
“Have you thought about what support might look like in future?”

You may be surprised by how much they open up—especially if they feel respected rather than rushed.

🌱 5. Frame Care as Gaining Support, Not Losing Independence

Care doesn’t mean giving up their life. In fact, the right support helps preserve their routine, freedom, and dignity.

You might say:

“If you had someone to help with the cooking or shopping, would that make life easier?”“It’s not about doing less—it’s about doing the things you love with less stress.”

Introduce the idea of home care slowly, with a focus on comfort and flexibility—not loss.

☕ 6. Suggest a Small Step, Not a Big Decision

Rather than asking them to commit to care right away, offer a trial or casual introduction.

“Homelium offers free consultations. It might be helpful to just chat with someone and learn what’s available.”“They even offer 2 free hours of care—just to try it out.”

When there’s no pressure, it’s easier to say yes.

🤝 7. Let Homelium Help Guide the Conversation

You don’t have to do this alone. We’re here to support you through those first discussions whether by phone, in person, or at one of our ‘Coffee & Care Planning Chat’ events.

We believe in care that fits around your loved one’s life, not care that changes everything.